When actually, it's very much liberal:
Newsweek's Religion article; Who Was Mary Magdalene?
Like many recent articles that have to do with Christianity and Mary Magdalene, this article scrutinizes the roles given to her by The DaVinci Code.
I've never read The DaVinci Code, I want to though, and the idea that Jesus and Mary had a relationship intregued me. I welcomed it as a possibility. The whole issue I have with religion is that all it's central characters are all so inhuman, people I cannot even conceive to relate to. And since religion prides itself in being a moral role-model, how can anyone have a role-model that don't relate to?
Jesus having a romantic relationship make him human, makes him a more obtainable ideal.
But because I have never read the book, I don't even know what role Mary played. Was she an intellectual, spiritual equal to Jesus, did they have a feiry romance, or was she a companion, someone Jesus doted on?
And because I was never raised to beleive in much more than myself, I don't know much about how the Church portrays her. I know that a Pope called her a prostitute, and John Paul II took that back (go john paul!!) and I know she and Mary of Nazarath (jesus' mother) both witnessed his entire death, and Mary witnessed his ressurection. The timelines, the basic facts.
The idea that Mary was a very important person in Jesus's circle made me one happy little feminist.
But this article insinuates that even The DaVinci Code described her as a purely defined-by-sexuality character, just like the Church does!
Now wait a minute...
The book pushes her sexuality, and becuase she was important, she was important for her femininity, for her sex, for the fact she was the womb Jesus' baby was carried in.
Who here who reads I Blame The Patriarchy thinks that's screwy?
*waves hand*
Being important because one is the physical carrier of the spiritual doesn't make you all that important- Like Mary, Mother of God. Yea, Catholics pray to her, Yeah, she's the patron saint of something-or-other (what, you expect me to know them all?) but is she reviered because of her intellegence and spirituality, or because she was knocked up by something that wasn't man/earthly creature?
I'll give you a hint: It's not the first one.
As cliche as this sounds; labels suck, should be done away with, and the person responsible for creating them should be stabbed.
Mary was the disciple/apostle who really got Jesus, who didn't have to have anything "proved" to her (even though he banished the seven demons that possesed her) and was willing to follow him and his instructions, no matter what. The rest, from what I've gathered, doubted him in one form or another. If Jesus kissed her, it was a symbol, not of affection, love or lust, but the old, original one: A passing of knowledge, of truth.
And I dare anyone, Anyone to say that being loved for only your body is a good thing. I dare you.
Mary was the one with true Faith, and gracious, if that led to a relationship with Jesus, then YAY Jesus. If it didn't, then whatever, that doesn't change the fact that Mary beleived and taught well in Jesus' name.
In conclusion, I'm wary of The DaVinci Code, Orthodox Anything sucks as a rule, and Mary Magdalene wasn't Just Woman- she was a spiritual being who should be admired.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Why I have a severe dislike of the rap culture.
I admit it! I don't like the rap/hip hop culture. I really really don't like it. But, after having friends who are racist and watching an episode of Boondocks about a black guy who vehemently hates his own race, I wonder what makes me different from their bigotry.
I'm not saying I'm not prejudice. I am. I'm the last to admit it, but when it comes down to it, I am prejudice against people who look a certain way.
After accepting that, I decided to dismantle why I "hate" the rap culture, and by proxy, the people involved in it.
The first reason was very simple, and the very first reason I didn't like it: I couldn't sing or dance to it, or find any recognizable beat.
But then, I found that I had other reasons:
I'm not saying I'm not prejudice. I am. I'm the last to admit it, but when it comes down to it, I am prejudice against people who look a certain way.
After accepting that, I decided to dismantle why I "hate" the rap culture, and by proxy, the people involved in it.
The first reason was very simple, and the very first reason I didn't like it: I couldn't sing or dance to it, or find any recognizable beat.
But then, I found that I had other reasons:
- The romanticizing of the gangsta culture isn't smart: drugs + guns = a lot of stupid youths who go and get themselves killed
- This sounds hypocritical, but I don't like the attitude. I am writing it under "They are ignorant and don't know that their hostility towards "That smart white chick" and calling my lab partners racist (because we don't work with them- they are rowdy and don't do work) isn't going to get them respect.
- The negative rowdiness. Don't like people causing fights. Starting mosh pits, playful sparring, goofing off is nice. Don't like instigating-which those in the rap culture do.
- The sex lyrics. The romantic kind in my rock music I can tolerate, it's subtle and sweet: FUCK DAT HO=no!
- The misogyny in general. I'm A PIMP and Gonna Tap Dat Sweet Ass, and Gonna Get Me Some Ho's...that all sickens me.
And because I hate the music and attitude associated with it, I tend to be wary of people who wear the rap/hip hop uniform. Since the rap culture promotes being dominant over "uppity" and smart people, I often get snapped at for simply making a light-hearted crack at little mistakes that I find amusing. So, I am careful around them and loudly grimace at their stupidity.
I clump it in with the rest of my peers. Most of them are ignorant, but the rap/hip hop cultured ones tend to be loudly and aggressively ignorant.
I don't like them for that.
My friends, however, associate 'rap' with black people- and don't like them because they are loud and aggressive. We all like loud, assertive and witty people, but while I vaguely associate rap with the way people dress, they strongly associate black people with aggressive and loud behavior.
This is usually when I remind them that I have a potpourri background- the only races I don't have are the asianic races. My background includes black people as well. I am loud, and aggressive. They say I'm different because I'm smart.
I know it's because I don't look black- If I looked as black as my genetics say I should (Gypsy, Puerto Rican, Black, Greek), It would take me being aggressively assertive for them to even talk to me.
I wonder why I'm friends with them- and then they make me laugh and giggle and make me feel better.
I currently write it under 'differences of opinion', and I pray they grow out of this as I do for the rap culture teens to grow out of their hostility.
But in reality, neither of the parties will do that.
Damn wishful thinking!!!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
About The Author(ess)
Hello. I am a nameless entity that for the purposes of this blog, is self-named "Little Big Sister".
I chose this name to portray that fact that I am somewhere in the middle of being knowing and important "Big Sister" but still naive and a child "Little Sister". I'm also a 15 year-old feminist who is learning more and more about the world around her, and it's cultural controller, the "patriarchy". I would be called a "Little Sister" by some well-meaning feminist bloggers and would undoubtably be associated as such. I am also a "Big Sister" because, well, I am the eldest in my family, and also a mothering figure to my friends.
Hence "Little Big Sister"
Next up, the name of my blog: Genius is as Genius does.
I flatter myself by calling myself a genius, but a healthy self esteem is good, no? Anyhow, I used it to encourage not only others to read my blog, but to maintain a semblance of maturity and intellegence. I have a tendency to create memes and do "blog burps" in which I spam myself with quizzes and "I LOVED *insert decade here*" memes. I like to live up to names given to me specatcularly, and the one of my blog is quite a hassle to live up to, so my posts are few and far between.
My Posting Habits:
Are sporadic at best. I like blogging. A Lot. So To blog as MUCH AS POSSIBLE, I do the aforementioned blog burps. I refrain from that, and post only when something relevant occurs in my life to post. Or I feel ill and need to tell someone, anyone. Or when I find a relevant article to post about.
The Catagory in Which To Place My Blog:
Socio-political. I use this instead of soully feminist, because a lot of retarded shit happens and I like to post about it. Military Weapons that are retarded? CHECK Starving Children in Rwanda? CHECK Racist Lynchings below the Mason-Dixon line? CHECK Poor Mental Medical Care? CHECKCHECKCHECK!
I am a feminist, but I also like to see how else the world disapoints me so when I go into politics or sequential art, I have a lot of material to speech/draw about.
So you're an artist?
I like to think that. Comic Strips are my specialty, and since I have an interesting way of perceiving the world around me, they are always entertaining and somewhat poignant (at least in my mind)
What about politics?
Me and my friends have this ongoing plot to band together with all the other megalomanics who want to take over the world and go ahead and do it, and then have a "PONG" tournament to decide who is supreme ruler.
I rule at PONG.
So, you write about Gay Rights a lot, so...are you a lezzie/dyke/sapphist/etc.?
I was always a supporter for Gay Rights after being brutally tormented by my peers at a young age, when they thought I was a lesbian who felt up girls in bathrooms. But yes, I am bisexual, or "gender-blind" as I like to call it. I haven't had many girlfriends, but have you tried dating girls in my peer group? Fuckin' scary!
Dude...You're so Gay...
Dude...See my finger? It says "Fuck You!"...
I chose this name to portray that fact that I am somewhere in the middle of being knowing and important "Big Sister" but still naive and a child "Little Sister". I'm also a 15 year-old feminist who is learning more and more about the world around her, and it's cultural controller, the "patriarchy". I would be called a "Little Sister" by some well-meaning feminist bloggers and would undoubtably be associated as such. I am also a "Big Sister" because, well, I am the eldest in my family, and also a mothering figure to my friends.
Hence "Little Big Sister"
Next up, the name of my blog: Genius is as Genius does.
I flatter myself by calling myself a genius, but a healthy self esteem is good, no? Anyhow, I used it to encourage not only others to read my blog, but to maintain a semblance of maturity and intellegence. I have a tendency to create memes and do "blog burps" in which I spam myself with quizzes and "I LOVED *insert decade here*" memes. I like to live up to names given to me specatcularly, and the one of my blog is quite a hassle to live up to, so my posts are few and far between.
My Posting Habits:
Are sporadic at best. I like blogging. A Lot. So To blog as MUCH AS POSSIBLE, I do the aforementioned blog burps. I refrain from that, and post only when something relevant occurs in my life to post. Or I feel ill and need to tell someone, anyone. Or when I find a relevant article to post about.
The Catagory in Which To Place My Blog:
Socio-political. I use this instead of soully feminist, because a lot of retarded shit happens and I like to post about it. Military Weapons that are retarded? CHECK Starving Children in Rwanda? CHECK Racist Lynchings below the Mason-Dixon line? CHECK Poor Mental Medical Care? CHECKCHECKCHECK!
I am a feminist, but I also like to see how else the world disapoints me so when I go into politics or sequential art, I have a lot of material to speech/draw about.
So you're an artist?
I like to think that. Comic Strips are my specialty, and since I have an interesting way of perceiving the world around me, they are always entertaining and somewhat poignant (at least in my mind)
What about politics?
Me and my friends have this ongoing plot to band together with all the other megalomanics who want to take over the world and go ahead and do it, and then have a "PONG" tournament to decide who is supreme ruler.
I rule at PONG.
So, you write about Gay Rights a lot, so...are you a lezzie/dyke/sapphist/etc.?
I was always a supporter for Gay Rights after being brutally tormented by my peers at a young age, when they thought I was a lesbian who felt up girls in bathrooms. But yes, I am bisexual, or "gender-blind" as I like to call it. I haven't had many girlfriends, but have you tried dating girls in my peer group? Fuckin' scary!
Dude...You're so Gay...
Dude...See my finger? It says "Fuck You!"...
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Teacher Fired over In Vitro
I thought Catholics were happy as long as babies were born...
This is a private catholic school, but still, to fire a teacher over how she got pregnant with her children seems petty and horrendously wrong.
Especially since all these concervatives are all up in a huff over a decreasing birthrate.
Honestly, I'll all for a decreasing birthrate. People are leading longer lives and it's more humane to just not have kids than it is to kill old people. Breeding has become almost unnesicary. If people started to stop at one child, then we'd soon have a more managable population. 6 billion = too many damn people!
Yes, I like the earth more than I like people. It's not as snippity, thank-you-very-much!
This is a private catholic school, but still, to fire a teacher over how she got pregnant with her children seems petty and horrendously wrong.
Especially since all these concervatives are all up in a huff over a decreasing birthrate.
Honestly, I'll all for a decreasing birthrate. People are leading longer lives and it's more humane to just not have kids than it is to kill old people. Breeding has become almost unnesicary. If people started to stop at one child, then we'd soon have a more managable population. 6 billion = too many damn people!
Yes, I like the earth more than I like people. It's not as snippity, thank-you-very-much!
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Does the phrase "No Shit" mean anything to you?
This is so blatently stupid. And was published March 30th of THIS YEAR.
Is common sense THAT rare?
Yah, you fucktard, MULTIPLE BIRTHS ARE DANGEROUS.
idiots, the lot of them...
Is common sense THAT rare?
Yah, you fucktard, MULTIPLE BIRTHS ARE DANGEROUS.
idiots, the lot of them...
Human Beans (Old Rant from August 1, 2005)
Originally Posted in LiveJournal.
You know what pisses me off? People who are so OH YEA I'M SO OPEN MINDED I ACCEPT EVERYTHING BLAH BLAH BLAH!!
And then flame a person for having an unsavory-but not hate-crimeish-opinion and view on things. I read these comment posts on societysucks that branch off this journalist's entries who writes these really profound articles; Well, they seem profound, I only read the two titled Abortion; Sympathyless (or something like that) and The Holocaust Never Happened.
Yes, these topics and the content are extremely delicate- but *really* after reading them you see how he has a point- Most of our issues are really trivialties if you just step back and obsurve what the HELL is going on-
Why should we make a big deal about abortion? The children aren't born yet, they don't even *have* potential yet. Once the child is born, *then* they have potential- but a fetus doesn't even have a fully developed BRAIN. stop making a big deal about it!!
And all these well-intentioned equality things-- Its getting to a point where if a white person scolds a black person for doing something that *is* bad and shameful (cheating, lying etc.) the white person is immediately labled "racist"
Whats the point!?! Why cant we forget all these silly pre- and mis-conceptions and look at our fellow human beings as just that
Get along you idiots!!
You know what pisses me off? People who are so OH YEA I'M SO OPEN MINDED I ACCEPT EVERYTHING BLAH BLAH BLAH!!
And then flame a person for having an unsavory-but not hate-crimeish-opinion and view on things. I read these comment posts on societysucks that branch off this journalist's entries who writes these really profound articles; Well, they seem profound, I only read the two titled Abortion; Sympathyless (or something like that) and The Holocaust Never Happened.
Yes, these topics and the content are extremely delicate- but *really* after reading them you see how he has a point- Most of our issues are really trivialties if you just step back and obsurve what the HELL is going on-
Why should we make a big deal about abortion? The children aren't born yet, they don't even *have* potential yet. Once the child is born, *then* they have potential- but a fetus doesn't even have a fully developed BRAIN. stop making a big deal about it!!
And all these well-intentioned equality things-- Its getting to a point where if a white person scolds a black person for doing something that *is* bad and shameful (cheating, lying etc.) the white person is immediately labled "racist"
Whats the point!?! Why cant we forget all these silly pre- and mis-conceptions and look at our fellow human beings as just that
HUMAN BEINGS
Get along you idiots!!
Quick Lesson (Old Rant from November 6, 2005)
Orignally posted on Livejournal:
Here's a quick little lesson in mental disorders.
THEY ARE NOTHING LIKE HABITS THAT ARE EASY TO QUIT WITH A "STRONG MIND" AND "GOOD FRIENDS".
You are Genetically Indisposed and/or an Experience makes you more suseptible to it. There is no changing it. You always have it. It takes severe and intense therapy and possibly medication to make is managable. And even that doesn't work too often.
And triggers? Yea, you can't help those. When your mind connects an object or image to an emotion and event that sends you off the edge, all you can do is either take the meds you have been given for those triggers, or ride it out and get any sort of comfort you fucking possibly can.
Anyone who says you "Chose your disorder" or "You Pick your Triggers" or it just takes "A little effort to change it." Is. A. Fucking. Retard.
You can't choose your disorder, you can't pick your triggers, and it takes a shit load of will power most people don't have, and never will have.
So please, for the love of god, before you tell me it's my own fault for freaking out in a crowded room surrounded by strangers, or for seeing a picture of what looks like people being beaten, remember, I CAN'T HELP THIS WITHOUT PROFESSIONAL HELP, SOMETHING I DON'T HAVE.
And on a more bitter note, I do NOT have good friends, because they obviously don't know shit about psychology, and will hurt me with their idiotic grasps at mental disorders. Yes, I mean you [Person who I am no longer angry at].
Don't you dare say you were trying to help me, because you are so freakin misinformed and closed minded it isn't even FUNNY.
Here's a quick little lesson in mental disorders.
THEY ARE NOTHING LIKE HABITS THAT ARE EASY TO QUIT WITH A "STRONG MIND" AND "GOOD FRIENDS".
You are Genetically Indisposed and/or an Experience makes you more suseptible to it. There is no changing it. You always have it. It takes severe and intense therapy and possibly medication to make is managable. And even that doesn't work too often.
And triggers? Yea, you can't help those. When your mind connects an object or image to an emotion and event that sends you off the edge, all you can do is either take the meds you have been given for those triggers, or ride it out and get any sort of comfort you fucking possibly can.
Anyone who says you "Chose your disorder" or "You Pick your Triggers" or it just takes "A little effort to change it." Is. A. Fucking. Retard.
You can't choose your disorder, you can't pick your triggers, and it takes a shit load of will power most people don't have, and never will have.
So please, for the love of god, before you tell me it's my own fault for freaking out in a crowded room surrounded by strangers, or for seeing a picture of what looks like people being beaten, remember, I CAN'T HELP THIS WITHOUT PROFESSIONAL HELP, SOMETHING I DON'T HAVE.
And on a more bitter note, I do NOT have good friends, because they obviously don't know shit about psychology, and will hurt me with their idiotic grasps at mental disorders. Yes, I mean you [Person who I am no longer angry at].
Don't you dare say you were trying to help me, because you are so freakin misinformed and closed minded it isn't even FUNNY.
Feminism, A Definition (Post from May 15, 2006)
Originally Posted in Xanga- Sugar_katana
Today, I was taking to Maria about my paper, which is a literary analysis on By The Light of My Father's Smile, by Alice Walker. For all of you who aren't familiar with her work, She is a black, bisexual "womanist" (a feminist who is not only concerned with the 'white' issues, but also the issues of poor black women as well-or poor women in general of every race.)
I was talking about how my critical lense was a feminist lense, and a very obvious one at that, when Reema lent over, and told me "I'm sorry, but I just don't get the whole bra-burning thing."
I was just about to explain that to her, when I hiccuped and asked her "How did we get to this subject?"
She told me it was because I was talking about feminism. I made a face, but then explained it to her that the bra-burnings were symbolic of throwing of the restraints of a patriarchal society- they used bras, because bras are primarily designed by men, which is why it's so hard to find one that fits. Then I said it was all just a metaphor.
She said "I don't see why they would do that, because it would just give guys something to grin about."
I totally spaced that the bra-burners didn't even take off the bras they were wearing to burn- they brought extra ones. But I did say "Well, the burnings made people so scandalized, they started to think. If these people were scandalized or curious enough, they'd go and study feminism to see what the big deal was, they'd pay attention. The whole point was to get people to think."
Maria said "I still don't see why Bra-burnings are so important."
I told her "The Bra-burning weren't done by a majority of feminists, and being a feminist isn't about hating men, or burning bras. Being a feminist means being able to vote, choose weither you want to have a family, being able to own your property and keep your wages, to love who you wish, to control your own body, being able to be a church leader."
Maria said "Well, we have all that already."
"But it's more than that. If you believe that you deserve all those rights, deserve it from birth, that you shouldn't have to fight for it, then you are a feminist."
"Well, it's hard to understand these things. I didn't even hear about slavery before I came here. In my country, you didn't even hear about slavery. So when I came and heard about bra-burnings..."
"It's hard to take it serious, I know. But really, being feminist isn't a bad thing. It's more than all that. There are just alot of pre-and misconceptions about it."
And then we talked about her country, and stuff.
It's really disconcerting how many people think being a feminist is a bad thing. I remember my english teacher making a mini-fuss about writing "Ms. Lindsay" on our papers. I didn't know if she was married, or single, so "Ms." was a safe bet. You could be either with "Ms."
But she said "I took my husbands name, and I like being called 'Mrs.' I'm not a mean, hairy old feminist!"
I made a face and walked away at that. It's just so...
Lame!!
People are really ignorant.
Today, I was taking to Maria about my paper, which is a literary analysis on By The Light of My Father's Smile, by Alice Walker. For all of you who aren't familiar with her work, She is a black, bisexual "womanist" (a feminist who is not only concerned with the 'white' issues, but also the issues of poor black women as well-or poor women in general of every race.)
I was talking about how my critical lense was a feminist lense, and a very obvious one at that, when Reema lent over, and told me "I'm sorry, but I just don't get the whole bra-burning thing."
I was just about to explain that to her, when I hiccuped and asked her "How did we get to this subject?"
She told me it was because I was talking about feminism. I made a face, but then explained it to her that the bra-burnings were symbolic of throwing of the restraints of a patriarchal society- they used bras, because bras are primarily designed by men, which is why it's so hard to find one that fits. Then I said it was all just a metaphor.
She said "I don't see why they would do that, because it would just give guys something to grin about."
I totally spaced that the bra-burners didn't even take off the bras they were wearing to burn- they brought extra ones. But I did say "Well, the burnings made people so scandalized, they started to think. If these people were scandalized or curious enough, they'd go and study feminism to see what the big deal was, they'd pay attention. The whole point was to get people to think."
Maria said "I still don't see why Bra-burnings are so important."
I told her "The Bra-burning weren't done by a majority of feminists, and being a feminist isn't about hating men, or burning bras. Being a feminist means being able to vote, choose weither you want to have a family, being able to own your property and keep your wages, to love who you wish, to control your own body, being able to be a church leader."
Maria said "Well, we have all that already."
"But it's more than that. If you believe that you deserve all those rights, deserve it from birth, that you shouldn't have to fight for it, then you are a feminist."
"Well, it's hard to understand these things. I didn't even hear about slavery before I came here. In my country, you didn't even hear about slavery. So when I came and heard about bra-burnings..."
"It's hard to take it serious, I know. But really, being feminist isn't a bad thing. It's more than all that. There are just alot of pre-and misconceptions about it."
And then we talked about her country, and stuff.
It's really disconcerting how many people think being a feminist is a bad thing. I remember my english teacher making a mini-fuss about writing "Ms. Lindsay" on our papers. I didn't know if she was married, or single, so "Ms." was a safe bet. You could be either with "Ms."
But she said "I took my husbands name, and I like being called 'Mrs.' I'm not a mean, hairy old feminist!"
I made a face and walked away at that. It's just so...
Lame!!
People are really ignorant.
Friday, May 19, 2006
The Sincerity of Blogging
I have three drafts on hold right now. One is about feminism, one is about mental health, and one is about how everyone is a human being and should there for act like one.
But the last two were written out of anger, and therefore, incredibly intellectually honest and kinda harsh. I use cuss words and 'retard' often.
The Feminism one I wrote as an observation of my peers and happened only a few days ago. The Human Beings one is almost a year old, and the Mental health one I wrote in november.
I find it kind of funny. All my blogs I created to voice my opinion, but because I either A: didn't have a receptive audience (friends, random ljers) or B: didn't have anything to write down my thoughts as they came to me, I gave up because I didn't feel like I was being listened to. Now I do, and I'm a little concerned about myself.
You see, I don't like the idea of myself being an attention grabber, someone who likes to show off and perform. It kinda hurts the "You May Get Better Grades, But I Get What's Going On" ego trip I've been riding for the last few years~ Practical street knowledge combined with a passing familiarity of what the Board of Ed mandates schools to teach is much more useful that just being fucking brilliant at identifying clauses and grammatical errors, or the 12 different ways to find the slope of a line.
Hell, I'm lucky if I catch a spelling error and remember even one formula! (Yet, I do so well on standardized tests. I'm in the top precentiles, usually better than at least 70% of my year in the whole state)
Point being (gracious, this is going to be another opinion peice rather than a "can't tell ya I didn't warn ya!" bit) is that sometimes, I feel like a sham on the internet, or even if I'm telling someone these things face to face. I feel so sure of myself when I'm alone in my room, thinking and scribbling down little ideas and thoughts, but as soon as I open my mouth, or start typing, I instantly start doubting myself.
What if I'm wrong?
What if I'm faking it?
The thing with opinions is that they are so solid when they are quiet, but once broadcasted, they become bullseyes, flimsy little peices of paper, ready for the target practice of others.
And some of those opinion-shooters are talented S.O.B's.
Your ego just takes a hit!
And on the topic of ego- I passingly mentioned in my first blog that I was going to CMU for a pre-college art program. Well, CMU is a primarily white and male school. 2/3rd of it being white and male. My mom said "Good thing you're a chick and Puerto Rican, it got you in Carnagie Mellon."
I kinda froze. One reason I'm so vehmently loud about feminism is because I don't want my gender to be a big definer of who I am. I don't want my race to be the reason someone likes/doesn't like me. Hell, I don't identify with my gender at all, or the male one either. The folds of skin between my legs? I have the geography memorized, but the meaning of it? The language? Total Mystery. My Race? I'm so mixed, I don't even bother to put down White and Puerto Rican, or anything else. I put down "human" year after year, just like my mother. I only put it down when obvious benefits would be reaped.
But after a St. Patty's day arguement with a friend of mine- straight white self-proclaimed redneck male- who said that he got a better score at the firehouse that a black kid, but was refused that job because he was white. Racial variety, ends up putting good men out of jobs, he said.
While I know some of it is bull, you can't help but think that some institutions are so afraid of discrimination suits that they go out of their way to push white males aside to pick up the black female who is a lesbian and is also wiccan, just to prove they aren't discrimatory.
This must sound SO bad, but I sent my app March 3rd, St Patty's is mid-march, and I found out about my acceptance May 3rd. So hearing that made me think "Was I only chosen because I'm female and Puerto Rican?" It's really unsettling, especially for me, becuase of my lack of identification with what I am genetically. When I think about myself, i don't think of terms of Fifteen, Female, Mixed, Highschool Student.
I think Hyper, Idyllic Outlook, Trustworthy, Secret Keeper, Friendly, Smart.
I would rather be chosen for the latter than the former.
Sometimes, you just think you are wrong, especially when you hear about fuck-ups who take things too far. And you get angry at yourself because you know you are right, and then you doubt your sincerity.
Identity crisis is to teenager-dom as Frustration is to Thinking.
But in the end, mum told me CMU uses a comparison desicion. The best in general are picked, and from there they chose in favor for racial and gender variaty.
That reassured me a little bit.
Anyhow, this post originally was to inform you a trio of older post/rants are going up and you have been warned about the coarse and intellectually honest language. (Hey, I'm a teen, I'm volitile, and I'm my mother's daughter. As smart as I am, when I get pissed, I can make the roughest sailor blush. My vocabulary instantly shrinks and limits me to the most monosyballic and simplistic words.)
But the last two were written out of anger, and therefore, incredibly intellectually honest and kinda harsh. I use cuss words and 'retard' often.
The Feminism one I wrote as an observation of my peers and happened only a few days ago. The Human Beings one is almost a year old, and the Mental health one I wrote in november.
I find it kind of funny. All my blogs I created to voice my opinion, but because I either A: didn't have a receptive audience (friends, random ljers) or B: didn't have anything to write down my thoughts as they came to me, I gave up because I didn't feel like I was being listened to. Now I do, and I'm a little concerned about myself.
You see, I don't like the idea of myself being an attention grabber, someone who likes to show off and perform. It kinda hurts the "You May Get Better Grades, But I Get What's Going On" ego trip I've been riding for the last few years~ Practical street knowledge combined with a passing familiarity of what the Board of Ed mandates schools to teach is much more useful that just being fucking brilliant at identifying clauses and grammatical errors, or the 12 different ways to find the slope of a line.
Hell, I'm lucky if I catch a spelling error and remember even one formula! (Yet, I do so well on standardized tests. I'm in the top precentiles, usually better than at least 70% of my year in the whole state)
Point being (gracious, this is going to be another opinion peice rather than a "can't tell ya I didn't warn ya!" bit) is that sometimes, I feel like a sham on the internet, or even if I'm telling someone these things face to face. I feel so sure of myself when I'm alone in my room, thinking and scribbling down little ideas and thoughts, but as soon as I open my mouth, or start typing, I instantly start doubting myself.
What if I'm wrong?
What if I'm faking it?
The thing with opinions is that they are so solid when they are quiet, but once broadcasted, they become bullseyes, flimsy little peices of paper, ready for the target practice of others.
And some of those opinion-shooters are talented S.O.B's.
Your ego just takes a hit!
And on the topic of ego- I passingly mentioned in my first blog that I was going to CMU for a pre-college art program. Well, CMU is a primarily white and male school. 2/3rd of it being white and male. My mom said "Good thing you're a chick and Puerto Rican, it got you in Carnagie Mellon."
I kinda froze. One reason I'm so vehmently loud about feminism is because I don't want my gender to be a big definer of who I am. I don't want my race to be the reason someone likes/doesn't like me. Hell, I don't identify with my gender at all, or the male one either. The folds of skin between my legs? I have the geography memorized, but the meaning of it? The language? Total Mystery. My Race? I'm so mixed, I don't even bother to put down White and Puerto Rican, or anything else. I put down "human" year after year, just like my mother. I only put it down when obvious benefits would be reaped.
But after a St. Patty's day arguement with a friend of mine- straight white self-proclaimed redneck male- who said that he got a better score at the firehouse that a black kid, but was refused that job because he was white. Racial variety, ends up putting good men out of jobs, he said.
While I know some of it is bull, you can't help but think that some institutions are so afraid of discrimination suits that they go out of their way to push white males aside to pick up the black female who is a lesbian and is also wiccan, just to prove they aren't discrimatory.
This must sound SO bad, but I sent my app March 3rd, St Patty's is mid-march, and I found out about my acceptance May 3rd. So hearing that made me think "Was I only chosen because I'm female and Puerto Rican?" It's really unsettling, especially for me, becuase of my lack of identification with what I am genetically. When I think about myself, i don't think of terms of Fifteen, Female, Mixed, Highschool Student.
I think Hyper, Idyllic Outlook, Trustworthy, Secret Keeper, Friendly, Smart.
I would rather be chosen for the latter than the former.
Sometimes, you just think you are wrong, especially when you hear about fuck-ups who take things too far. And you get angry at yourself because you know you are right, and then you doubt your sincerity.
Identity crisis is to teenager-dom as Frustration is to Thinking.
But in the end, mum told me CMU uses a comparison desicion. The best in general are picked, and from there they chose in favor for racial and gender variaty.
That reassured me a little bit.
Anyhow, this post originally was to inform you a trio of older post/rants are going up and you have been warned about the coarse and intellectually honest language. (Hey, I'm a teen, I'm volitile, and I'm my mother's daughter. As smart as I am, when I get pissed, I can make the roughest sailor blush. My vocabulary instantly shrinks and limits me to the most monosyballic and simplistic words.)
I delude myself into thinking my peers think the same as me~
I have a lot of things written in my spiral notebook I carry around. Some of them are harsh criticisms of my friends, others are harsh criticisms in general. Here's one I wrote 5/18.
[...]
On the topic of my delusions, Health Class is a very good way to see who exactly in this school has been taught properly by their parents on the topics of rape, STD's and sexuality. Too many, I've found, think rape is the fault of the woman, abortion if wholly evil, that you should have the laws in our (secular) country mirror exactly the sentiments of the Christian Bible. They are "Christainists" as a TIMES columnist wrote. They force religion into the gov't, thinking that by doing what the 'bible' says, they are right.
I'm pretty sure Jesus said that "My Kingdom is Not of this World." Why should we try and make our mundane world the heavenly kingdom he advertises? It's not like we'd get props from God for doing so- it's basically idol worship.
The best thing for us to do is to leave the options of gay marriage, Abortion, and all the other highly publicized issues open for the people to use. Not everyone in the world subscribes to Fundamentalist Any Religion, and to try and force that upon them is to break honor with the commandments of the Bible these Christianist Politicians spout at random. Informing is entirely different from Converting, and Informing, my currently non-existent readers, is what Jesus asked his followers to do. Not to go into fertile earth-worship tribes and rape the land for being "heathens".
But I digress, and I know not all Christians are bad, and not all Christians are Christainist. The TIMES columnist, who so aptly put it, said that there are several Roman Catholic people who are personally devout, and publicly liberal.
In Health, I've realized that I am part of the fortunate few who have been educated properly on these issues: "Do what you damn well please, as long as it doesn't hurt me." is the standing motto in my family. Like the Wiccan "Harm None"
Now, at this, anti-choice advocates would say that abortion should be illegal, 'cause the woman having the abortion is harming a fetus. But even the anti-abortion laws have clauses that permit. One is when a woman's life is in danger, or when the child is so severely deformed and handicapped that it would require extensive, expensive medical care that the new mother may not be able to provide.
At that sentiment, if in dire situations, the choice between future child and the living mother falls to the side of the living mother, why can't that be the same for non-dire situations? Some women, while being emotionally capable to handle sex, are not ready to drop everything for children, or are even willing to consider the possibility.
The "If you can't handle Children, You shouldn't have Sex" movement seriously pisses me off. Sex isn't always about reproduction!!! In the right situations, sex is about love and satisfaction, the physical communion with another being.
This is what I told Roper (girl in my class). We started talking about the HPV virus (ackk, redundant, but doesn't flow otherwise!), which causes cervical cancer, and the vaccine for it that scientists are developing. These scientists are recommending that young girls who haven't been sexually active to take it, because that makes sense. You don't get a malaria vaccine after going to Africa! Vaccinations are preventive.
Yet, politicians are iffy about it, because they think that giving it to their daughters would promote the promiscuity of children. Roper thought so as well, and I told her the above bit on vaccinations. And often, it's not their fault! More often that not, husbands give it to their wives, as HPV is asymptomatic for males.
This led to abortion talks and rape as follows:
HPV Vaccine-Stupid politicians-Not woman's fault for disease-Causes infertility otherwise-Some people want kids, others don't-abortion-abortion clauses-Rape-woman's Fault.
I cut Roper off at that. When she said "Sometimes the woman is asking for it, like when she wears short skirts..." I raised my hands, and jokingly told her "Don't ever say that to me again, or around me, 'cause then I'd have to hit you!" She laughed at this, because earlier this week I joked with her about how angry I was when she did the "Day of Speaking Out"- a response to the Gay Protest "Day of Silence".
"Seriously though, it is never the woman's fault, To insinuate that is to say that women are merely sex objects, and that's not cool."
"I didn't mean that!" She said "Sometimes a girl just asks for it."
"Whoooa! No No No! That's not cool, Roper! I know women, fully grown, and friends, who've had that happen to them. Some were dancers, yes, but not that kind of dancer. Even if that was the case, it wasn't their fault! Others were just teenagers who are hanging out with family friends. None of them were asking for it."
"But some put themselves in those types of situations."
"No Roper, you don't 'put' yourself in those situations. It is never ever the victims fault. A woman should be able to go to a party and have a few beers and not have to worry if that cute guy sitting next to them will carry her up the stairs and rape her. It is never ever the victims fault, and they never put themselves in that situation. To say that would mean you think, and I understand you didn't meant it that way, but it would mean you think women are only sexual objects. Seriously Roper, I know women who've been raped, and then never ever deserved it, and they never ever asked to be raped."
I also said it was the assaulter's fault, all the time, and it's something no one ever ever deserves.
Anyway, I informed Roper very thoroughly on these subjects, and I think she actually listened and absorbed it. I said she should really read up on these things before spouting on opinion on it. The only reason I say my opinion is because I have read about it since I was unsure who's fault it was when I was 10. And because of this, I didn't say anything until I got the full story. Of course, I was 10, and it's not like the conversation about rape pops up in school when you're 10! Who talks about that when your 10?
The real issue is that so many of my so-called intelligent peers really don't know what they are talking about, what exactly is going on.
Same thing with Politicians. They are still in that indignant opinion stage of teenager-dom, and no one really knew or cared to inform them of the truth. Now that they are adults, and powerful ones at that, to get through to them is like trying to blow up a 100 ft thick wall with cheap snap-crackers. (Those firecrackers that look like little paper onions that pop with a sharp snap when you throw them on the sidewalk.)
We need more liberal parents and politicians.
Speaking of which, there's this minority party leader in some Greek island who's promoting for a "Utopian" gov't there. Unfortunately, he brought in the free love card too quickly. So conservatives who originally supported him didn't vote for him. That's horrid, because his ideas were actually pretty solid.
Anyway, I'm glad my parents accidentally raised me to be a liberal feminist, otherwise I'd be as ignorant as my peers.
Or would I? I'm not sure, you never really know, do you?
But how I turned out now is very, very satisfactory.
------------------------
After the "Liberal Parents and Politicians" bit, I was originally going to say "And that's why I want to take over the world" but I went off onto a separate tangent.
I have a male friend who has a "disappointed in the World Jar" currently there is $400 in the jar, and we figure in a few months he'd have enough money to buy a bomb that can destroy the world, or buy the world, instead of conquering it.
I'm advocating the second one, but he says he doesn't know, since he'd probably only use the money when he's gone mad from the idiocy of the world.
This kind of conversation happens between me and my friend quite often. At least, my very close and intelligent ones. The only difference between me and them is that I'm more verbal about politics than them. And they are slightly more eccentric than me. (I used to think that was never possible)
I am convinced that with the state international relations is in, the only thing that can fix it is a global dicator reign.
And I want to be the one to head it.
What can I say, I love power.
[...]
On the topic of my delusions, Health Class is a very good way to see who exactly in this school has been taught properly by their parents on the topics of rape, STD's and sexuality. Too many, I've found, think rape is the fault of the woman, abortion if wholly evil, that you should have the laws in our (secular) country mirror exactly the sentiments of the Christian Bible. They are "Christainists" as a TIMES columnist wrote. They force religion into the gov't, thinking that by doing what the 'bible' says, they are right.
I'm pretty sure Jesus said that "My Kingdom is Not of this World." Why should we try and make our mundane world the heavenly kingdom he advertises? It's not like we'd get props from God for doing so- it's basically idol worship.
The best thing for us to do is to leave the options of gay marriage, Abortion, and all the other highly publicized issues open for the people to use. Not everyone in the world subscribes to Fundamentalist Any Religion, and to try and force that upon them is to break honor with the commandments of the Bible these Christianist Politicians spout at random. Informing is entirely different from Converting, and Informing, my currently non-existent readers, is what Jesus asked his followers to do. Not to go into fertile earth-worship tribes and rape the land for being "heathens".
But I digress, and I know not all Christians are bad, and not all Christians are Christainist. The TIMES columnist, who so aptly put it, said that there are several Roman Catholic people who are personally devout, and publicly liberal.
In Health, I've realized that I am part of the fortunate few who have been educated properly on these issues: "Do what you damn well please, as long as it doesn't hurt me." is the standing motto in my family. Like the Wiccan "Harm None"
Now, at this, anti-choice advocates would say that abortion should be illegal, 'cause the woman having the abortion is harming a fetus. But even the anti-abortion laws have clauses that permit. One is when a woman's life is in danger, or when the child is so severely deformed and handicapped that it would require extensive, expensive medical care that the new mother may not be able to provide.
At that sentiment, if in dire situations, the choice between future child and the living mother falls to the side of the living mother, why can't that be the same for non-dire situations? Some women, while being emotionally capable to handle sex, are not ready to drop everything for children, or are even willing to consider the possibility.
The "If you can't handle Children, You shouldn't have Sex" movement seriously pisses me off. Sex isn't always about reproduction!!! In the right situations, sex is about love and satisfaction, the physical communion with another being.
This is what I told Roper (girl in my class). We started talking about the HPV virus (ackk, redundant, but doesn't flow otherwise!), which causes cervical cancer, and the vaccine for it that scientists are developing. These scientists are recommending that young girls who haven't been sexually active to take it, because that makes sense. You don't get a malaria vaccine after going to Africa! Vaccinations are preventive.
Yet, politicians are iffy about it, because they think that giving it to their daughters would promote the promiscuity of children. Roper thought so as well, and I told her the above bit on vaccinations. And often, it's not their fault! More often that not, husbands give it to their wives, as HPV is asymptomatic for males.
This led to abortion talks and rape as follows:
HPV Vaccine-Stupid politicians-Not woman's fault for disease-Causes infertility otherwise-Some people want kids, others don't-abortion-abortion clauses-Rape-woman's Fault.
I cut Roper off at that. When she said "Sometimes the woman is asking for it, like when she wears short skirts..." I raised my hands, and jokingly told her "Don't ever say that to me again, or around me, 'cause then I'd have to hit you!" She laughed at this, because earlier this week I joked with her about how angry I was when she did the "Day of Speaking Out"- a response to the Gay Protest "Day of Silence".
"Seriously though, it is never the woman's fault, To insinuate that is to say that women are merely sex objects, and that's not cool."
"I didn't mean that!" She said "Sometimes a girl just asks for it."
"Whoooa! No No No! That's not cool, Roper! I know women, fully grown, and friends, who've had that happen to them. Some were dancers, yes, but not that kind of dancer. Even if that was the case, it wasn't their fault! Others were just teenagers who are hanging out with family friends. None of them were asking for it."
"But some put themselves in those types of situations."
"No Roper, you don't 'put' yourself in those situations. It is never ever the victims fault. A woman should be able to go to a party and have a few beers and not have to worry if that cute guy sitting next to them will carry her up the stairs and rape her. It is never ever the victims fault, and they never put themselves in that situation. To say that would mean you think, and I understand you didn't meant it that way, but it would mean you think women are only sexual objects. Seriously Roper, I know women who've been raped, and then never ever deserved it, and they never ever asked to be raped."
I also said it was the assaulter's fault, all the time, and it's something no one ever ever deserves.
Anyway, I informed Roper very thoroughly on these subjects, and I think she actually listened and absorbed it. I said she should really read up on these things before spouting on opinion on it. The only reason I say my opinion is because I have read about it since I was unsure who's fault it was when I was 10. And because of this, I didn't say anything until I got the full story. Of course, I was 10, and it's not like the conversation about rape pops up in school when you're 10! Who talks about that when your 10?
The real issue is that so many of my so-called intelligent peers really don't know what they are talking about, what exactly is going on.
Same thing with Politicians. They are still in that indignant opinion stage of teenager-dom, and no one really knew or cared to inform them of the truth. Now that they are adults, and powerful ones at that, to get through to them is like trying to blow up a 100 ft thick wall with cheap snap-crackers. (Those firecrackers that look like little paper onions that pop with a sharp snap when you throw them on the sidewalk.)
We need more liberal parents and politicians.
Speaking of which, there's this minority party leader in some Greek island who's promoting for a "Utopian" gov't there. Unfortunately, he brought in the free love card too quickly. So conservatives who originally supported him didn't vote for him. That's horrid, because his ideas were actually pretty solid.
Anyway, I'm glad my parents accidentally raised me to be a liberal feminist, otherwise I'd be as ignorant as my peers.
Or would I? I'm not sure, you never really know, do you?
But how I turned out now is very, very satisfactory.
------------------------
After the "Liberal Parents and Politicians" bit, I was originally going to say "And that's why I want to take over the world" but I went off onto a separate tangent.
I have a male friend who has a "disappointed in the World Jar" currently there is $400 in the jar, and we figure in a few months he'd have enough money to buy a bomb that can destroy the world, or buy the world, instead of conquering it.
I'm advocating the second one, but he says he doesn't know, since he'd probably only use the money when he's gone mad from the idiocy of the world.
This kind of conversation happens between me and my friend quite often. At least, my very close and intelligent ones. The only difference between me and them is that I'm more verbal about politics than them. And they are slightly more eccentric than me. (I used to think that was never possible)
I am convinced that with the state international relations is in, the only thing that can fix it is a global dicator reign.
And I want to be the one to head it.
What can I say, I love power.
Well, lookit here!
This would be my 5th blog I actually use. Yes, I am a bit of a blog whore. (edit: sorry, I knew this would cause problems when I wrote it, but i honestly didn't know how else to describe my blog-enthusiastic behaviour! Until I find better adjectives, I will co-op the language and use it in 'positive' ways like hug-whore and the like. Special, hyper, eccentric friends rubbed off on me~)
Though I use each for separate reasons.
My livejournal I use to get wicca/gsa/mental health info via the communities. I post my recent humanities essays (English and Social Studies), info on mental health, and once in a while rants on society. This is friends only
My two xangas are used for separate reasons. One, sugar_katana, I use to update my friends on my life- as the stuff in my lj is very, very personal. The other, college_witch, Only has two entries in it thus far, but will have more when I go to CMU for their pre-college summer program. (Art!)
My MySpace is used to keep tabs on people who I have vendettas on, but they don't know about it. Sorta like being stalkerish, but not.
This one, I was thinking about getting, but wasn't sure about. Wordpress.com and Blogger.com all seem very serious- the bloggers here have an actual purpose. The ones I have used are very, how do you say?- scatterbrained and not very purpose-y. But then, after a feminist blogger encouraged me to get one after an anonymous comment, I decided "What The Hell? I'll just type up the crap I write in my notebook about society. Maybe an intelligent highschool feminist perspective will be a welcome one."
And to be honest, I don't really have an opportunity to rant about my feminist thoughts to my peers. My friends all basically agree with me, on some points, and others just don't care and think I'm weirder than before I started ranting. What they have in common is that they don't have a firm understanding on feminism, gay rights, and all these other issues. Even my teachers think feminists are "Mean, hairy old ladies".
And my feminist views are purely accidental. My parents were trying to being me up to be cautious, and to find a "happy medium". Being outspoken, curious and rebellious, even at age 8, I wanted to know why they were warning me about men, religion and politics. Soooo?
I found out. And became a feminist. And became a gay-rights advocate after being teased mercilessly by school mates for being a lesbian- at the age of 10.
My mum thinks I'm wasting time on these things when I should be working on school work. My mum wishes I wasn't so outspoken about my opinions. My dad yells at me for not listening to him, when he doesn't listen to me.
So I am going to use this to publish my jabber-rant-rambles about everything that gets me riled up.
Gracious, I hope I don't abandon this thing...
Though I use each for separate reasons.
My livejournal I use to get wicca/gsa/mental health info via the communities. I post my recent humanities essays (English and Social Studies), info on mental health, and once in a while rants on society. This is friends only
My two xangas are used for separate reasons. One, sugar_katana, I use to update my friends on my life- as the stuff in my lj is very, very personal. The other, college_witch, Only has two entries in it thus far, but will have more when I go to CMU for their pre-college summer program. (Art!)
My MySpace is used to keep tabs on people who I have vendettas on, but they don't know about it. Sorta like being stalkerish, but not.
This one, I was thinking about getting, but wasn't sure about. Wordpress.com and Blogger.com all seem very serious- the bloggers here have an actual purpose. The ones I have used are very, how do you say?- scatterbrained and not very purpose-y. But then, after a feminist blogger encouraged me to get one after an anonymous comment, I decided "What The Hell? I'll just type up the crap I write in my notebook about society. Maybe an intelligent highschool feminist perspective will be a welcome one."
And to be honest, I don't really have an opportunity to rant about my feminist thoughts to my peers. My friends all basically agree with me, on some points, and others just don't care and think I'm weirder than before I started ranting. What they have in common is that they don't have a firm understanding on feminism, gay rights, and all these other issues. Even my teachers think feminists are "Mean, hairy old ladies".
And my feminist views are purely accidental. My parents were trying to being me up to be cautious, and to find a "happy medium". Being outspoken, curious and rebellious, even at age 8, I wanted to know why they were warning me about men, religion and politics. Soooo?
I found out. And became a feminist. And became a gay-rights advocate after being teased mercilessly by school mates for being a lesbian- at the age of 10.
My mum thinks I'm wasting time on these things when I should be working on school work. My mum wishes I wasn't so outspoken about my opinions. My dad yells at me for not listening to him, when he doesn't listen to me.
So I am going to use this to publish my jabber-rant-rambles about everything that gets me riled up.
Gracious, I hope I don't abandon this thing...
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