Being a Minority in a Dominant-Culture Environment

So here's a new thing that I'm doing in my life; I've joined the ROTC and switched my major from Digital Illustration to Pre-Nursing, and my experiences so far have been positive, except I really have never been around so many people openly talking about their religion (of which I have none) and their politics (which I identify so far on the other side of the spectrum they probably would think of me as a commie). I've been pretty lucky in that I've easily found myself plenty of people who manage to fit into a minority subgroup in some way, so I have never had these overwhelming feelings of being unforgivably DIFFERENT. I've had plenty of gay friends, feminist female friends, atheist/non-christian friends, and friends who hail from a wide variety of ethnic cultures. Everyone was different, so no one was different.

Similarly, with my experiences as a military brat, I have always viewed the army as a very diverse and unique environment, and the idea that there are all these identically dressed individuals going after the same goal but with different motives is anthropologically fascinating. I can't help being amazed by it, we're individuals disguised as an in-sync unit. But that is the army as a whole. My ROTC program is based in a Jesuit college and there is a disproportionate representation of Catholicism and with it a very conservative view of the world. Add in college and teenage men, I find myself witnessing behaviors that I would normally vocally object to. Sexism and homophobia, to be specific.

It all makes me uncomfortable, because I haven't found the words to convey the inappropriateness of their comments without A) Sounding like a Harpy and B) Outing myself. Don't ask, Don't tell may be repealed, but it has never been a good idea to be openly gay or feminist in conservative religious populations.

How can I sound reasonable and connect with their sense of empathy and logic? Both of these are required to understand that their derogatory comments make the battalion an uncomfortable place for the minorities in the Army. And another thing, the armed forces are primarily made up of minority groups, but their leadership is astoundingly WASPish. I'm seeing this in my battalion definitely and it is so obvious that these boy were never forced to acknowledge their privileged status, and therefore don't have a whole lot of empathy or understanding for people who aren't just like them. In high school, when my career was never on the line, I would call people out. Constantly! It was my thing, I was the 'crazy feminist girl' who would stand up and call people out on being sexually threatening, being homophobic, going into tirades and fighting furiously to draw lines of empathy between the white-privileged/straight-privileged/male-privileged masses to get them to see that this anger, hurt and demand for change and acknowledgment of mistakes was not the crazy ranting of "entitled pseudo-children" but an actual legitimate demand from under-represented, under-appreciated, under-acknowledged and misunderstood populations who just want to have a place in the world where they aren't made to change the fundamental ways they are. You can't change your psychological gender, your sexual preference is largely innate, and you cannot change the race you were born with and the culture you grew up in.

There are definitely ways were you can twist and turn and do mental gymnastics to grow past this baseline skeletal structure of thinking, and when you are a minority you already know how to think like a man/a straight person/a white person because those are the dominant social structures in the US. Every ad, every show, every product is designed to appeal to those groups. Even female products pander to men, because it is used by women to be less obtrusive, less offensive to the common aesthetic of men. In black culture, good hair is white hair. Straight, easy-to-control and shiny. Nevermind that taking care of the hair you have and keeping it as healthy as possible the way it is naturally is the most beautiful thing in the world, no! You have to have white hair. Gay relationships are depicted in a man/woman masculine/feminine dichotomy in which the most masculine partner is supposed to be the dominant partner, because otherwise the straight people cannot comprehend how those relationships work at all. Everything in minority culture related back to the dominant culture.

If you cannot recognize that, how the hell can you understand the resentment bubbling up from minorities consciously and subconsciously because even in products specifically designed for us, shows created for us, written materials just for US and OUR LITERARY LEISURE have something that compares us to the dominant culture and deals with the fact that we're LESS because we're not WHITE or STRAIGHT or MALE. How can you understand that these conflicted feelings, resentment and rage are completely justified because really, who wants to be told that they're secondary for no good reason beyond an accident of birth?

But try saying that to an 18 y/o male who was from a largely white, straight, conservative environment. It's like trying to convince a brick wall nicely that it should really move two feet to the left. A silly and pointless endeavor. At this point in their psychological development it would require an intense, emotional, hitting-close-to-home event to get them to really see how their behaviors are harmful.

In short; I'm stuck. My instinct is to cause a fuss, stir some shit and shake people up out of their comfort zones to just LOOK and THINK and try to understand other points of view, but I fear reprimands and social isolation. I want to create strong connections with these new peers of mine, but having to keep quiet about my personal experiences that I strongly think could really get them to grow as people is painful. It really is. This inner conflict is giving me some nausea issues.

ENFP wants to change the world, but changing the world has historically been proven to be isolating. Isn't that always the problem?